30 ways to annoy the TMM characters
by Radioactive Rubber Duck
Summary: Thirty ways to annoy each of the Tokyo Mew Mew characters, starting with Ichigo.
1. Ichigo

**Okay, thirty ways to annoy the Tokyo Mew Mew characters. First is Ichigo's, as she is the main character. I think I'll do the rest of the mews after this (not including Berry and Ringo) but if there is another character you think I should do before that then feel free to say so. **

**I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew, or any of the characters.**

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**Ichigo:**

1. Keeping sending her letters telling her you hate her, but say they are from Masaya.

2. Every ten minutes, kiss her so she turns into a kitty!

3. Whenever you see her in mew form, shield your eyes and turn away, yelling "Ahhhhh!! The pink, it burns, IT BURNS!!" Make sure you do it every single time she's transformed.

4. Cover Mint in catnip just before Ichigo enters the room. Film what happens.

5. Use the film from number 4 to blackmail her into kissing Kisshu.

6. When she arrives at work late, and you can see that she's been in a rush to try and get there on time, tell her that its Saturday. It doesn't matter what day it actually is.

7. Every time she goes on a date with Masaya, follow them around everywhere, singing the found a peanut song.

8. Kidnap Masha and dye his fur the most disgusting color you can think of.

9. Before you give Masha back to her, tell her that Pai ate him. This could annoy Pai also, when he gets attacked by the mews for "eating" Masha.

10. While she's not looking, put fake cat ears on her, so she thinks hers have popped out, and spends 10 whole minutes trying to make them go back in before realising what actually happened, if you can, do this in a public area where people are going to see her.

11. Find out where her diary is kept, and tell Kisshu.

12. Whenever she mentions Masaya, laugh at her and yell "Your boyfriends a hippie!"

13. Whenever you see a black cat(and when Ichigo is near to you) say hello to it, and call it Ichigo. Ask it if its split up with Masaya yet.

14. Steal her bell and give it to Kisshu to hide.

15. Constantly quote her "Mew mew style, mew mew grace" thing from mew mew power to her.

16. Stalk her everywhere, taking photographs of her, then sell them to Kisshu.

17. Paint everything she owns pink, _everything. _Except for what's already pink.

18. Tell Masaya she hates him and thinks he's a hippie.

19. Quote her catchphrase thing in a really annoying high pitched voice whenever you see her.

20. Every time she says something, say "NO" loudly, without having even listened to what she said, make that obvious.

21. Run up to her and go "beeeeep!" very loudly in her ear.

22. Keep insisting that she is in a secret relationship with Mint. Make sure everyone can hear when you say this, Masaya especially.

23. Flirt with Masaya, but only when she sees you. If your are a guy, then this will annoy her even more! D

24. Mess with her alarm clock so it doesn't go off, then, when she arrives for work late, start complaining to Ryou about her.

25. Force her to watch Fruits Basket with you. Whenever you see Kyo in it, yell at her. "Look, there you are!! Being ginger!" And try to look really excited, completely ignore the difference between her and Kyo's genders, and if she points it out, just go "Yeaahhh, surrreee."

26. When she hasn't done her homework during the holidays, offer to do it for her. Get all the answers wrong, and write things on the edge of the paper like IchigoandMint4ever, just to add more proof to your claims from 22.

27. Throw rocks at her window in the middle of the night, make sure they're load enough to stop her sleeping. If you can, break the window and get away before she kills you. Before, not after. Getting away after would be difficult.

28. Steal her food at lunchtimes, when she gets hungry, start describing in detail all of her favourite foods to her.

29. Rob her house and give all her stuff to some environment saving organisation thing, saying that its what Masaya said was right.

30. Force her to were a flea collar.


	2. Mint

**Okay, second chapter. This one is for Mint.**

**Mint:**

1. Dye her hair vomit color.

2. Pretend to be really sorry about it, and offer to return it to its normal color. Instead, shave her head bald.

3. To cover up her baldness, buy her the most hideous looking hat you can find.

4. Once her hair has grown back, put yoghurt in it, strawberry yoghurt.

5. Send love letters to Zakuro, but write "Love from Mint." at the bottom.

6. Arrange picnics in her garden.

7. At the cafe, start a food fight somehow, make sure most of the food is thrown at Mint, then, when Ryou comes to see whats going on, act like it was Mint that started it.

8. Force her to kiss the most disgusting person in your school. (As Mint is probably taught at home.)

9. Tell her that Zakuro is leaving forever. And going to live in the North Pole. To get away from Mint.

10. Make her look after Puddings brothers and sisters, for a whole week.

11. Teach her dog to bark Christmas songs at her.

12. Whenever you have a conversation with her, don't talk, shout.

13. When she is working at the cafe, and its full, yell "Ewww, Mint has head lice!!" when she goes past you.

14. Put alchohol in her tea.

15. When she is transformed, nick her weapon and slobber all over it.

16. Keep getting her name wrong. As wrong as you want, the more stupid sounding the better.

17. Whenever you see her, put on your stupidest possible face.

18. Sneak into her room at night, and sleep under her bed. Make sure she finds you when she wakes up.

19. Repeat everything she says back to her, in a bad imitation of her voice.

20. Everyday, tell her that she smells, if you notice that she has started to wear a lot of perfume because of this, ignore it and tell her that she should wear perfume.

21. During the time she is bald, ask her if her animal DNA is a vulture now.

22. When she's sitting down at the cafe and relaxing, stand next to her and tap your fingers on the table, playing short songs.

23. Make voodoo dolls of her and sell them out in the street.

24. When she is serving customers at the cafe, come up behind her and introduce her to the customers as "Zakuro's girlfriend."

25. Kiss her. Especially if you are a girl. Though this would be better for freaking her out than annoying her.

26. Lock her in a room with Taruto, for a month.

27. Paint the front of her house.

28. Ask if her and Pudding are sisters.

29. Buy her loads of tartan clothing for christmas.

30. Poke her in the cheek.


	3. Pudding

**Okay, this ones going to be for Pudding )**

**Pudding:**

1. When she's messing about, standing on that giant ball, pop it with a needle.

2. Laugh hysterically every time she gets hurt.

3. Whenever she does a trick, no matter how impressive it is, just say "I can do better than that, that's easy."

4. If she forces you to actually try and do the trick, even when you fail horribly, act like you did it perfectly.

5. Keep calling monkeys gross.

6. Ignore the fact she's actually a monkey and keep acting like her animal is a Gorilla.

7. Keep nagging her to use her attack, because you want jelly.

8. Tease her about her and Taruto.

9. Walk into the café, yell "Tambourine Trench!!" and walk out again.

10. Keep mistaking her age for 6.

11. Hide Taruto under her bed.

12. Whenever you have a conversation with her, make sure to use rude words at least three times in each sentence. If she asks you what they mean, just laugh and say "Ha, little kids are so dumb."

13. Tell her that if she can't hang more than 15 spoons on her face at one time, then you'll tell Taruto that she loves Pai. Cover the spoons with grease.

14. Find videos on the internet of monkeys doing disgusting stuff, show them to Pudding.

15. Steal all the food in her house.

16. Sneak into her house and feed all her siblings massive amounts of sugar.

17. Play drums on her head.

18. Paint her love test machine the same color as you dyed Mints hair.

19. Treat her like a 3 year old, but exaggerate it a bit, when it gets to four 'O' clock, tell her its bedtime.

20. Paint all her possessions with Ketchup and mustard, tell her the only way to get it clean is to lick it all off, all of it.

21. Keep saying she's a Goth.

22. Take her to an amusement park, but only let her go on the baby rides, no matter how much she wants to go on the others.

23. Say that its wrong for her to love Taruto, because he's actually her and Masaya's son, if you are actually convince enough to make her think this is true, then: 1. You have performed a miracle. 2. Get a video camera, and some popcorn.

24. Throw breadcrumbs at her, for at least 3 hours a day.

25. Tell her you kidnapped Taruto and hid him in Ryou's bedroom, make sure she believes you, and that Ryou is in his room at the time.

26. Give her electric shocks until her hair has gone really static.

27. Give her really Gothic looking tattoos in her sleep.

28. Start trying to give her sex education lessons.

29. Tell her that Keiichiro is plotting world domination. This is another one to have to make sound really convincing.

30. After spending weeks treating her like a baby, suddenly start calling her Granny.


	4. Lettuce

**Okay, this one is going to be for Lettuce, which I guess I feel a bit guilty for, I like her so much!**

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**Lettuce:**

1. Burn ALL her books.

2. Whenever she's trying to read, creep up behind her and start singing "We wish you A Merry Christmas." as loud as you possibly can.

3. Constantly ask if somebody sneezed in her hair.

4. Ask her "Why do you get antenna in mew form? Porpoise's don't have them!"

5. When she is carrying food at the café, run right in front of her yelling "Neeeeeeep!" Then blame her for the mess when she drops the food.

6. Every week, send her heaps advertising leaflets in the post. With a note next to them saying "Because I know you love reading."

7. Steal her glasses.

8. Offer to try and braid her hair for her, make a huge mess of it, and act offended when she undo's them.

9. Speak whale to her. (Finding Nemo style.)

10. Keep talking to her about pie (the food) but make it sound like you could also be talking about the alien Pai.

11. Because she is Lettuce, try to make Aphids eat her.

12. Ask if she's actually homeless and sleeps in the library.

13. Laugh at her randomly, and when she asks what she did, just give her a "you don't realise?" look.

14. Ask her to marry you, and make seem slightly convincing. It doesn't matter what gender you are.

15. Keep saying to her, "Green is snot color." And nod wisely.

16. Force her to watch really gory horror movies with you.

17. Tell her she should marry Lyserg from Shaman King, because they are both green.

18. While she is sleeping hide under her bed and go "Duucccttttt-Taapppeeeee." Do this again quietly during the day, but make sure she doesn't notice its you. Laugh when she starts thinking Duct-Tape is haunting her.

19. Ask her if she's read the dictionary.

20. Laugh at for not being able to swim.

21. Pull on her plaits.

22. Throw her into a pool of green paint.

23. Force her to watch The Little Mermaid with you at least 15 times a week.

24. Tell her that whales are fat, so she must be too.

25. Try to teach her rollerblading, call a hearse every time she falls over.

26. Make a lettuce pie, and feed it to her.

27. Throw her in the deep end of a swimming pool, fully clothed.

28. Visit her house, and trash everything in the first five minutes you are there.

29. Say she stinks of fish.

30. Write really bad poetry about her and Ryou, then show it to her, act offended by her ersponse.


	5. Zakuro

**Okay, Zakuro, last one and I'll be finished with the mews. After that, I'll probably start on the aliens.**

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**Zakuro:**

1. Put laxatives in her drink.

2. Tell her she has a moustache.

3. Keep getting mixed up with whether her name means Grapefruit or Pomegranate.

4. After about a month of getting confused, about which one is right, decide to solve the problem by just calling her "Mr. Grumpy."

5. When (and if) she tries to talk to you, pretend not to hear and stare at the exact same place for the next 15 minutes.

6. Keep insisting to her that her and Mint are a couple.

7. Force-feed her Ichigo's cooking.

8. Pinch her cheek and go "Aww, who's a good wolfy then?"

9. Everyday, ask her if she's going to America yet.

10. Find pictures of her in magazines and draw moustaches and stuff on them, make sure to leave the magazines lying around somewhere she can find them.

11. When she is busy doing something or other, hum, the same tune every time, and make sure it is an extremely repetitive one.

12. Ask her if wolves can get rabies.

13. Send stupid rumours about her into magazines; stick the pages with articles about them in to the café walls.

14. Find a really ugly picture of a wolf (there must be some out there) and Photoshop it to have Zakuro's face.

15. Sing nursery rhymes to her if she doesn't talk for more than half an hour.

16. Call her flat-chested.

17. Stop calling her Mr Grumpy and call her Sir Grumpy the Grouch. Say the whole thing every time you talk to her.

18. Quote things she said, in a male sounding voice. (Unless you are male, then just do it in your normal voice.)

19. Follow her every time she goes to that church, and making farting noises with your armpits while she is trying to pray, or whatever it is she does in there.

20. Eat pomegranates whenever you're around her. (Or Grapefruit, I don't even know which one it is! ;)

21. Tease her about being the last mew to join.

22. Invent The Zakuro Dance; perform it to her with Mint.

23. Film The Zakuro Dance and post it on YouTube, then show it at the café.

24. Paint her face bright yellow. Break every mirror in her house so she doesn't notice until she goes outside.

25. Take advantage of her mew outfit by jabbing her in the stomach at every chance you get.

26. Give her a month old piece of cheese for her birthday; wrap it in really fancy wrapping paper.

27. Claim that the cheese is an antique.

28. Play really bad music at the café on her birthday as well, or something about cheese, the must be songs about it somewhere.

29. Say that you painted her face yellow _because_ you thought she loved cheese so much.

30. When she starts ignoring you completely because of all this, yell every time you talk to her, and poke her ear constantly to get her attention.


	6. Kisshu

**Okay, the aliens now! First will be Kisshu!**

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**Kisshu:**

1. Ask him if he even knows what Quiche is, or does he just think he was named some random word?

2. Tell him daily that Ichigo hates him.

3. While he is sleeping, replace his dragon swords with copies of them you have made from toilet roll tubes.

4. Make comments about his strange clothing.

5. And his hair.

6. Walk up to him, look at him seriously, and say "I know what you did Brian." Then walk off without explaining anything.

7. Buy him strawberry patterned pyjamas, and make him wear them in front of Pai and Taruto.

8. Get Pai to leave the ship for a while, so Kisshu has the responsibility of looking after Taruto, but 20 bags of sugar, feed them all to Taruto.

9. Every morning say to him that you swear his ears keep growing.

10. And that soon they will completely engulf his head.

11. Watch Pingu with him.

12. Call his ribbon things Butt-Tape,

13. Go "Kisshu, I am your father."

14. Cover his bedroom with pictures of Masaya.

15. Sing romantic songs about him and Masaya.

16. Give him lots of pet kittens, name them all Ichigo, and make sure all of them are grumpy and sure to hate him.

17. Paint his room pink, and tell him it was because of Ichigo.

18. Tell Pai that Kisshu broke his computer, but he might be dead before he got chance to be annoyed…

19. Make him eat Ichigo's cooking, saying "If you really love her more than Masaya does, then you'll eat ALL of it in less than ten minutes!"

20. When you do that, make sure he has no water or other types of drink near him; he is not allowed to try and wash the taste away.

21. And make sure he can't hold his nose.

22. Somehow take away his ability to fly or teleport, and leave him at the bottom of a really high cliff, with lots of steps to the top, very steep ones.

23. When he finally gets back up to where you are, pretend you've restored his ability, then laugh when he can't get back to the ship.

24. Tell him that his time you really well make him be able to fly again, but only after he says "Antidisestablishmentarianism" 300 times, without pausing for more than a second.

25. Throw Taruto at him.

26. Dress him up as Masaya.

27. Say that he's an Eskimo.

28. Call him Fatty.

29. Stand outside his bedroom door ALL night, humming Strawberry Power. (Ichigo's theme song, I think.)

30. When he starts getting really annoyed at you for this, start crying really loud, and don't stop for 3 hours, make sure this happens in public.


	7. Pai

**Okay, now Pai. This should be easy…he seems to be someone who is easily annoyed! But we love him anyways!**

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**Pai:**

1. Dress him up as a pirate.

2. Chew on his ears.

3. Force him to give to piggybacks.

4. Undo his hair…thingy…you know the one I mean.

5. Make his computer get full of viruses.

6. Keep talking about Pie to him. (The food)

7. On his computer, get him addicted to Neopets, make sure the other to aliens and the mews, find out.

8. Force him to go kayaking with you.

9. Hang bells from his ears.

10. Tell him "you're my fry" Don't explain.

11. Get annoying songs stuck in his head while he's trying to work.

12. Tell him you've found his Lettuce photo, because we know he has one of her… (If this one sounds wrong, its not intended to, but if you want to interpret it like that, then I'm not stopping you.)

13. Make him go on the impossible quiz; tell him it's easy and that if he can't complete then he's stupid.

14. Insist on combing his hair.

15. Hang about near him while he's working, and occasionally go "QUACK" for no apparent reason.

16. Drop him on top of Lettuce, then film how he deals with the situation and show it to Taruto and Kisshu.

17. Make him do The Zakuro Dance with you and Mint.

18. If he insults the mews, tell him he's just jealous because he doesn't get to wear dresses like that.

19. Buy him a porpoise plushie.

20. Take photos of him, but take him by surprise when you do it, or do it at jut the right second while he's pulling a face so you end up with lots of stupid looking photos of him, stick them to everything, the walls, the ceiling, his computer, the café, trees, Taruto's forehead, everywhere.

21. Drag him to the café, get the other two aliens to help you if you must, and use any means possible to force him into trying to break-dance in front of the mews, the aliens, Masaya, Keiichiro, Ryou, Deep Blue, and anyone else who happens to be in the café at the time. Film the whole thing, and use it to blackmail him for everything else you need to force him to do.

22. Bake a giant Pie, and draw his face on it. Give the pie to the mews.

23. Follow him about, never get more than a few centimetres behind him, and instead of walking, skip.

24. Put oil on his computer orby thing, so every time he tries to put his hands on it, they slip off.

25. Call him stupid.

26. Pinch his cheek, and basically do the same as you did when you did it to Zakuro.

27. Keep doing impressions of Dr Zoidberg from Futurama.

28. Glue lightbulbs to his head, lots of them, and not just the top of his head either.

29. Tell him Zombies are going to eat his brain; this will work even better if he doesn't know what zombies are.

30. Sit on his knee and ask him to read you bedtime stories.


	8. Taruto

Taruto now, I'm wondering whether to do Deep Blue next, or save him to last

**Taruto now, I'm wondering whether to do Deep Blue next, or save him to last? Review and tell me what you think .**

**Taruto:**

1. Call him "Little Baby Taruto"

2. Ask him if he knows how babies are made, if he says he doesn't know, laugh, if he says he does, but he's wrong, laugh, if he does know, laugh.

3. Take all his candy away, for a month!

4. Yell "Guess what, Taruto loves Pudding!!" really loud to anyone who will listen, make sure Taruto is there at the time.

5. Make him listen to clam, slow music.

6. After a month, when you give him back his candy, make him eat only ice cream, so much that he gets terrible brainfreeze.

7. Lock him in a room full of cicadas, make sure he the room is teleport-proof.

8. Put a collar and leash on him and take him for walks, e isn't allowed to go anywhere unless you take him.

9. Take him in a car for the first time (assuming they don't have them on his planet) and drive very first along a really windy road, don't give him travelsick pills.

10. Swallow his clacky weapon thing.

11. Whenever you talk about it, call it the Clacky Weapon Thing.

12. After a while, instead of making him listen to slow and calm music, play a round of 20 Misa no Uta's (from Death Note) really loud.

13. Say he has girl hair.

14. Throw potato chips at him.

15. Surround him with monkeys, ones that will climb on him, pull his hair, wreck his stuff, that kind of thing.

16. Send him to spend the day in one of those soft play areas (you know, the ones with ball pools and stuff), laugh at him if he enjoyed it, if he didn't enjoy it, send him there again for the next week.

17. Put a tattoo on him so it looks like he has a moustache; don't let him know how to get it off.

18. Drag him through a huge puddle of mud.

19. Make his bedroom smell really badly of paint, if you do this by painting it about 20 times, make sure it's a color he hates. Or just lots of different colors.

21. Pop balloons next to his ears.

22. Call him "Taru-Taru" like Pudding does.

23. Dress him up in about 50 blankets, and then let him try to walk about in them.

24. Take him on aeroplanes while he has a cold so his ears go really bad. (if that can even happen to their ears…maybe it happens worse because they big.)

25. Tell him that if he kisses Kisshu, then you will leave him alone.

26. Get it on video, and show it to Pai and Pudding.

27. Don't actually leave him alone.

28. Tell everyone that he wets the bed.

29. Tie his hair with pink ribbons.

30. Get Pai to help you teleport him ti a field full of elephants and leave him there.


	9. Deep Blue

**Okay, It seems Deep Blue is going after the other aliens, so now, here are some of the ways to help you kill him in a way that never occurred to the mews, annoying him so much you cause a nervous breakdown!**

* * *

**Deep Blue:**

1. Pull his hair.

2. Pull his ears.

3. Ask him why he's called Deep Blue when the only thing about him that color is his coat.

4. Dye his coat rainbow, and start calling him "Deep Rainbow."

5. Force him to watch Disney films and baby programs with you for a month, without any breaks.

6. Dye his hair the same color as Lettuce's when she's in mew form.

7. Sing songs from cheesy musicals when you're around him.

8. Laugh at his shorts.

9. Edit a photograph of him on photoshop, show the aliens the pictures.

10. Take him to McDonalds.

11. For dinner, give him spaghetti shapes, from the baby programs you made him watch.

12. Hug him.

13. Call him "Blueykins"

14. When you you see him walking towards where you are, hide, then when he goes past, jump out at him, poke his nose, then yell "Spoonawiggle!" and run off.

15. Steal his coat, and the rest of his clothes, and replace them with flowery dresses. Don't give him his clothes back, because he'll have to come out of his room sooner or later, and the only thing he'll have to wear will be the dresses!

16. While he's stuck with the dresses, you wear his coat and go around doing bad impressions of him.

17. Fill his ship with thousands of cute little yellow ducklings.

18. Kiss him on the forehead.

19. Give him lessons about playing the triangle.

20. Pull his nose.

21. Sing the Barbie Girl song to him.

22. Buy him a pink Teddy Bear.

23. Sit on his shoulders and make him carry you about like that.

24. Put a kitty headband on him.

25. Stick pancakes of over his ceiling.

26. Steal his coat again, but this time replace it with a poncho and sombrero.

27. Make fun of his evil grin.

28. If he is ever cruel to someone (so most of the time) yell to them "Its okay, he's not really that bad, he's just a lonely little boy!" then start pretending to cry.

29. Buy him flowers, very pink, girly looking flowers.

30. Make him hats, lots of them, and leave them lying around in his bedroom.

* * *

**Okay, well that was Deep Blue, I think I'll do Ryou next, but if anyone thinks I should do someone else, please review and tell me! .**


	10. Ryou

**Okay, now Ryou, I'll do Keiichiro next, but if you think I should do a different character instead, then just say so. I don't think I did as well as I could on this one, but if I think of any better ones I might make him a second list.**

* * *

1. Everytime he says something, say "I KNOW" loudly.

2. Dance past him with a drum and cymbals.

3. Paint his bedroom walls green with pink stripes.

4. Then paint his ceiling Yellow with purple spots.

5. Put hair gel in his hair and make It all spiky.

6. Throw Pie at him, the alien or the food, both are sure to annoy him!

7. Sing happy songs to him while he's working.

8. Give Pudding lots and lots of sugar when she's at work.

9. Poke him, constantly.

10. Insist that he is a priest, dress him up as one.

11. Turn the café into a pub.

12. Force him into wearing dresses, then taking photos of him like that and put them up all round the café walls.

13. Take pictures of him looking pissed off, put them on the walls too, and label them "Ryou's grumpy face."

14. Keep yelling at him to turn into Alto.

15. When you've finally made him be Alto, enter him in a pet show under the name of "Mr Snugglywugglyfluffykins."

16. Push him down the stairs, while he's carrying things.

17. Put furry, pink, flashing rainbow rabbit ears on him. (This is something I actually did to someone once D)

18. Tell him he's fat.

19. Tie a frilly pink ribbon round his neck.

20. Glue headphones to his head, and constantly play the happiest songs you know on them, things like the TMM ending song and Egao happy Piisu (from Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni, if you want to know what it sounds like, search it on youtube.

21. Attach starfish to his face.

22. Draw terrible pictures of him in rainbow crayons, then cry REALLY loudly when he doesn't like them. Tell Keiichiro that Ryou's being a meanie.

23. While he is Alto, put a disgusting frilly bonnet on him.

24. While he not Alto, still put a disgusting frilly bonnet on him. And a pacifier.

25. Cover his face in dog treat, then send him to the kennels for something.

26. Then cover his entire head in catnip and send him to the cattery.

27. Sneak into his house and break all his cupboards. Make sure he doesn't find out it was you.

28. When he complains about the broken cupboards, say that you are very good at fixing cupboards and stuff and that you'll fix his for him. Do it really badly, make sure the doors don't fit properly, and that shelves slide out and are wonky. When he tries to get someone professional to do it, get REALLY mad with him and throw stuff.

29. Cover café mew mew in garden gnomes, thousands of them.

30. Show him all the fanfiction about him that's on here.


	11. Keiichiro

**Keiichiro's turn now, this one shouldn't be that easy though, he's so happy ans smiley all the time! But still, hopefully now we'll be able to put a stop to that.**

**Keiichiro:**

* * *

1. Pull his hair all the time.

2. Replace all his hair ties with fluffy pink ones.

3. Paint sparkly butterflies on everything he owns, and on him.

4. Throw food around in his kitchen until you can't even see the walls.

5. Tell Ryou that he poisoned the cake.

6. Actually poison the cake.

7. Put chewing gum in his hair.

8. Every day, sneak into his bedroom and hide a banana under his bed.

9. Keep doing this until he has a massive pile of rotting bananas under his bed.

10. While he's cooking, play really crappy music, really loudly.

11. Tell him you really really love mash potato, make him cook you loads and loads of it, then don't eat any.

12. Tell him that it was actually baked potato you liked.

13. Do this with every type of potato, then move onto eggs.

14. Dye his hair bright yellow.

15. When he makes a really big cake, hide inside it, then jump out at him.

16. Just before he's about to put his chef hat on, fill it with caterpillars

17. Call him "Happy happy smiley man."

18. Constantly claim that he fancies Ryou. (Whether you are saying this honestly or not is up to you.)

19. Ask him about his gender.

20. Find where he keeps his cooking ingredients and replace all the sugar with salt.

21. Ask him if he designed the café.

22. Randomly kiss him on the forehead.

23. Jump out at him while he's carrying stuff.

24. Insult everything he does.

25. Put green food coloring in everything he makes.

26. Throw pants at him.

27. Ask him if he's secretly a ninja.

28. Say "Wibble" to him.

29. Eat lots of sugar, tie your shoelaces together, then go into his kitchen and try to run about.

30. Push him in a river.


	12. Masha

**Sorry I took so long to update this, but this ones here now, and I'll try to write quickly to make up for the time I haven't written anything at all in. Anyway, now for Masha! This one will only be fifteen reasons, because Masha seems quite difficult to do....and I'm lazy ^^;**

**Masha: **

1. Insist that he is a furby.

2. Keep calling him useless.

3. Pull all his fur off so he's just a load of wires.

4. Shut him in cupboards and say it was an accident.

5. Get his name wrong all the time.

6. Ask him is he actually has a gender.

7. Sit on him.

8. Carry him around with you, and swing you arm like you would with a bag so he's getting rattled about.

9. Play drums on him.

10. Put him in an aquarium tank, say it was because you wanted to know whether or not he could survive underwater.

11. Tell him that he's being replaced, by one of those pink poodle robots.

12. Throw him out of your car in the middle of a desert, so he has to fly back to the café.

13. Do this again, except with an aeroplane instead of a car.

14. Constantly claim to Ryou and Keiichiro that he isn't working.

15. Give him to a dog as a squishy toy.

* * *

**I'm going to do Masaya next, as he's the last one. Well, except for Moe and Miwa, but I have absolutely no idea what I'd write for either of them.**


	13. Masaya

**Last and least (Not sure what that even means, just figured it was probably insulting >.**

**********Oh how we hate him...except the Masaya lovers... Anyway, I should have fun with this one, I won't feel guilty at all =)**

* * *

**Masaya:**

1. Poke him in the head, constantly.

2. Tell him that "the blue knight" is a really gay name.

3. After saying that, insist that he is gay.

4. Tell EVERYONE that he is gay, even write it into the newspaper.

5. Call him a stupid hippie.

6. Spread rumours that he's cheating on Ichigo with Kisshu.

7. Edit a photo of him so it looks like he's kissing Kisshu, make sure he sees it. (This will annoy Kisshu too!)

8. Put loads of salt in his food just before he's about to eat it.

9. Pour wallpaper paste all over his head.

10. Tie his shoelaces together.

11. Send him dirty text messages, pretend they're from Ichigo.

12. Keep doing this until he replies to one. (And it gets sent to the real Ichigo.)

13. Say that his face is orange.

14. Steal his sofa.

15. Shave all his hair off during the night, and leave a rainbow clown wig next to the bed for when he wakes up.

16. Do the "I got your nose!" thing to him.

17. Send him phone calls acting like your a terrorist and telling him that Ichigo is being held captive and if he doesn't rescue her in the next five minutes she'll die and they'll blow up his house.

18. Get him to play cricket or some similar sport with you, whenever it comes to your turn, hit him over the head with your bat and say that someone else did it.

19. Tell Ichigo that he said she sound like a plane taking off at the start of her Strawberry Surprise attack. (She does, seriously, I realised about two seconds before I wrote that. Also, this one should probably have been for Ichigo, but I'd already finished hers, sorry!)

20. Sculpt a potato to look like his face, then give the potato to him as a gift. Insist that he keeps it on his wall were it can be seen by everyone who goes in there. (So probably not that many people.)

21. Steal all his homework, and hide it in the same place as his sofa.

22. Burn them both.

23. Stand outside his classroom and laugh as he tries to explain to his teacher that the reason he never does his homework is because as soon as he gets it some crazy weirdo runs of with it (along with half his living room furniture) and burns it.

24. Whenever he's talking, pretend to shake your head, in either disappointment or disapproval.

25. Accuse him of animal abuse.

26. And littering.

27. Leave porn in his locker so that it falls out when he opens it. And everyone sees.

28. Make sure you are in the room at that point, and at the top of your voice yell "MASAYA'S A PERV, HELP ME I'M SCARED OF HIMM!!!"

29. Make him go to Irish dancing lessons.

30. Then make him perform to Ichigo and the rest of the mews, and Ryou and Keiichiro...and the aliens...and all the other characters! Make sure he's wearing a kilt while he does it.

**************Okay, that is the annoying thing finished! (I think) I'll probably write a RetasuxPai fic next, I love that couple so much!**

**************Oh, and about number 19, I dunno if Ichigo sounds like that all the time, but she certainly does in episode 24!**


End file.
